Randomness.....

FINALLY!!!!!! 2008 is almost over!!!!! What a horrible year for so-oooo many people. Here are some random thoughts from my crazy mind....:
My husband is a political "junkie", he just loves to watch that stuff. So tonight we were watching some "2008 Year-in-Review" stuff. They had snippets of several of Obama's speeches.
Oh!!! I wanted to vote for him all over again!! he is one of the BEST speakers of all time!!!
Yeah, I know, there's the "Rick Warren" stuff......backwards, GLBT-Hating pastor chosen to give the prayer at the inauguration.
I don't LOVE that choice either. And I thought Warren's whole "Purpose Driven Life" deal was a bit saccrine.
But, Obama is the President-Elect of a VERY large and diverse nation. He is a politician. He must pander/appease at least a little bit to get things done.
He's still myPRESIDENT....and he is still FABULOUS in my book.
I cannot WAIT for him to be if office!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear God....WHY did Indiana leagalize fireworks for New Years????? My 3 dogs are SCARED TO DEATH of them!!! They are totally freakin' out right now!!!!!!!! I HATE MITCH DANIELS.

I still hate being forced to be on "Eastern Daylight Time" as opposed to CENTRAL Daylight Time like we should be on. I HATE MITCH DANIELS. (He's Indiana's Govener by the way...)

The sick, worthless guy in California that dressed-up like Santa and killed his ex-wife and her family and maybe other people and set fire to the house and then killed himself....
That is seriously sick beyond belief. Supposedly the first person her shot was an 8 year old girl!!!!
I hope he rots in hell.
But the weird thing that bothers ME (the animal lover), is WHAT happened to his beloved DOG??????
Supposedly he and his wife (that he KILLED) had a GORGEOUS brown Akita (I have an Akita-Chow mix) named Saki that this sick dude LOVED.
The (now dead) ex-wife got him in the divorce. The sick dude was crushed.
So now the ex, the sick dude, and her whole family is dead..........WHAT THE FU%K HAPPENED TO THE DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is he okay? Did his daddy kill him too? If not WHO is taking care of him?!?!???!?!?!?
These are the things I worry about.

Dear Lord I am so-ooo worried about that dog.

So a guy in my town I don't know sent me a friend request on myspace. (He is a friend-of-a friend). He billed himself as the "Sickest Freak" I'd meet on myspace.
I accepted. I can deal with "sick freaks"..as long as no animals are involved.
He DELETED me a week later because of the "GAY stuff" on my site......

I AM TOO SICK FOR THE SICK FREAKS!!!!!!!!!!

I am cool with that.

Did I tell you a bunch ofmy former classmates (LAkeland Christian Academy) deleted me on facecbook because I am "possessed by Satan" and "decieved by the Devil" because I have... GAY FRIENDS!?!?!?!?
I Hate People....

I don't fit in anywhere.

I hope 2009 is better for EVERYONE out there. And I hope I can be a blessing to as many people and animals as possible in 2009.
I Love you ALL!

New Jobs....?

O.....kay..... so most people that know me know that I am an..ecclectic person...to say the least.

I am a Christian, but I have friends who are Jewish, Buddist, Hindu, Agnostic, Mormon, Jehova's Witness, Wicca, Atheist...the list goes on.

I am friends with people of all races, ages, ethnic backgrounds, Sexual orientations/gender identity.

I have friends who are Conservative and Liberal. Democrat and Repbulican, young/old, black/white, gay/straight....any combo you wish...!

The Good: this makes for VERY interesting parties!
The Bad: these different groups of people don't always get along well with each other...obviously.

Oddly, I've always been a mix of different personality traits and interests/beliefs myself.
Some thoughts I have could be considered "mainstream", some "forwardthinking", some just..."whacked out". No surprise there I guess. You never really know WHAT you're in for with me!

Example: as you know I am "between jobs" since CHUPACABRA divorced me from my employement for Christmas. I now have TWO new "sort of " jobs.
I call them "sort of" jobs because they don't involve any actual pay, something those doggone bill collecters are so-ooo freakin' PICKY about.
JOB ONE: I am the hospitality hostess for my church (Unidiversal Charismatic Christian Church). They are a very welcoming, no-condemnation type church, so it's a perfect place for me. I am also on the Animal Ministry team. It's still a ministry in progress, but we want to help low-income, elderly, disabled, ect. people take their pets to the vet, get pet meds, food, spay/neuter their animals, go with them to the "last vet visit" (so-ooo very difficult!!!!), council and comfort them after a pet illness/death, and so on.
And very soon my friends, I will be an ACTUAL ORDAINED PET AND ANIMAL MINISTER!
Seriously!! ME! A Minister! (okay...I hear all of you laughing out there.......)

Of course, minisrty never REALLY translates to money....but that's okay. I'm excited about it nonetheless.

JOB TWO: I was recently hired to be the manager/promoter for a local Metal/Fusion band.
I have know one of the band members for several years. It just happened that they had a falling out with one of the band members and their former manager.
They were looking for a new Manager...I was unemployed....why not?
They are in a state of flux right now, but they are a great group. They write all of their own lyrics and music. It's really a cool, unique sound. It's a Rob Zombie/Techno/Marilyn Manson/Prodigy/Metallica/Moby kind of thing.....yeah...a bit hard to explain.
They're named SYI...check 'em out! http://www.myspace.com/syisupplementaryirreverence


So anyway, I am an Ordained minister who promotes/manges a Heavy Metal band.......

Yeah, who ELSE but me?

There you have it. Just one of MANY examples of the oddball-mix that is Susan....

Ya gotta love it! :)

My Hair..

So, I have always had this relationship with my hair. Lots of women do. When I was finally allowed to make my "own" hair decisions, I rejoiced!!!!
Mom always had been a strong spirit, and pretty, but a tough, no-nonsense tomboy too.
I think she was somewhat appalled she given birth to a true girly-girl!
She had my hair short. Dorthy Hamill-70's-bowl cut thing.
Therefore, I opted to grow my hair long....very, very long. Crystal Gayle long.
By the time I was 14/15 or so, it cascaded down my back. Long, thick, golden blond hair.
To my waist. A bit past it actually. I was a walking "Breck" shampoo ad!
Then, somewhere around 1986 or so, I was ready for another change. Bring on the Aqua-Net baby!!! It was the 80's, time for some big-ass-hair!!
Got a spiral perm. You have never seen so much hair!!! And the bangs!!! Talk about gravity-defying! OY!!!!! Master sculpter I was.

Eventually went back to straight and long. Then a bit shorter. I got a few higlights, blond, nothing too crazy.
Now, I am nearing 40 (Lord have mercy). New job on the horizon (I hope!). I needed something..different. Something new....bold.

As you may see from my new picture...it's REALLY different!!!!
It looks almost black in the picture. But it is a deep, rich red with dark, elegant purple highlights.

Layers. Shoulder length. FUN!!!!!

So what do you think, dear readers? The new me?

Told ya I had a crazy mind...... :)

Merry Christmas!

Here it is, another Christmas eve. I must admit, it's been a rough year.
Three of my animal babies died. Othello, my sweet dalmation baby boy was first. He was 14 years old, and I knew it was coming. I should have had him put down earlier I suppose, but that is such a horribly difficult call to make.
He could no longer walk, couldn't even wag his beautiful tail, but his spirit was still there, he still had that spark in his 2-color eyes.
His sister Molly (by adoption, not by birth) was also a dalamtion, 13 years old, getting close to 14 herself.
She had been doing so well (for a very elderly dog). But she and Othello were close. I knew whoever went 1st, the other would follow soon thereafter.
Sure enough, after Othello passed, Molly began to decline. Her kidneys gave out. She gave up. Missed her brother. She died April 18th.
One of our ferrets, Milton, also passed this year. Now, to be sure, he was an OLD ferret. 8 1/2 years, ancient by ferret standards.
He died in my arms this past summer. I thought I was ready to blog about it, but I'm still not. Sorry.
Of ccourse, we had money problems all year, like everyone else. Then there was my job loss from CHUPACABRA. Which could still be a blessing...but not so fun economically.
No presents will be exchanged this year, no money for them. We didn't even put up a tree.
Of course, pasr of the reason for that was Obie (our destructo-dog.) And the fact that my "new"/old computer is currently sitting where we usually put the tree.
We did put up lights tonight. A long colorful strand, decorating the entire living room.
Light were always my favorite part of the tree decorations anyway.
So Christmas will come quietly to our home. But we are safe. We have HEAT! ELECTRICITY! A HOME! Each other. we have beautiful friends. Family. And though me ache for the furry babies that have passed, we are enjoying the ones that are here with us now. All 8 of them!

Merry Christmas to you all!! May your day be JOYFUL!!!!!!!!

No Heat Sucks!!

Okay!! This will be short and sweet (for now). We had an ice storm come throught this area Thursday night (December 18th).
We lost power for a few days...VERY COLD IN THIS HOUSE!!!! When you can see your breath IN Side Your home...NOT A GOOD SIGN.
All of us are okay (Ferrets, dogs, cats...people...). BUT, the lights are still flickering right now....we will see what happens.


more to come...soon..I hope.....

Unemployed....sigh....

It was bound to happen sooner or later. But right before Christmas? Somehow, that just doesn't seem fair.
Yeah, yeah, life isn't fair, work with me people!
So right after I left the wonderful world of RADIO, I did a year long tour of duty in office jobs.
Oh My!! NOT for me. BORED, bored bored out of my crazy little mind. Nice people (mostly), decent pay (better than radio...which is not saying much), but NOT for me.

Then, I found a job at a local business college. It was presented to me as a Public Relations job.
Travel to any/all High Schools with-in a 150 mile radius of my town, and tell said students about the college.
YES!!! I could once again get PAID to talk!!!! Whoo-hoo!!!!

I started in July 2000. some days were better than others, but overall I loved it. No pressure, I LOVED working with the students, and since my Husband was a TEACHER, it was perfect for us as a family too.
Then HE took over....oh how I would LOVE to name him here...but we shall call him....
CHUPACABRA......(long story, X-FILES ref....look it up..).

CHUPACABRA HATES women!!!! Most of our employees are women. He REALLY hates me because I speak my mind, and I am not afraid to tell the Emperor that he is FREAKING nekked!!!
Every year, he tells my manager (Who changes frequently....it's a hard job!), NOT to hire me back.
They hire me back...every...single year......
I related VERY well to the students. Truth be told, I never really GREW UP, so I was TOTALLY on their level. I think this is a good thing, but that's just me.


CHUPACABRA wants us to do a HARD SELL to CHILDREN....basically tell them anything and everything to get those kids to sign on the dotted line.
I refuse.
I don't like to be "sold", and I will never do that to someone else.
At the beginning of this school year, my direct manager has a meeting with me. Says that CHUPACABRA HATES me. OKAY!!!! At least the feeling is mutual!
I must improve my "numbers", wants to know that I BELIEVE in this College.
BARF!!!!!
I decide that this MUST be my last year. I love this job, I am GOOD at this job....but I will NOT sell my soul for any career.
It had turned into a sales job right before my eyes.....and SUSAN does not do sales.

I suffer from a variey of physical/mental/emotional issues/problems. Migraine headaches is the newest addition to the lovely little list.
Monday, I have a downright evil migraine!!! I try to be a good little soilder and go to work anyway. I don't remeber much about the drive there, I remember NOTHING about the drive back home. But I did it. I am a professional.
In Radio, I went on-air under ALL manner of "conditions", sick, tired, hung-over....you get the idea.
I was fabulous in the classroom.....went to throw-up and beg to die during my break.

Tuesday, I work again, felt good, I totally rocked the room!

When I get back to the office, one of CHUPACABRA'S minnions calls me into a meeting. He tells me of "problems" on Monday.
I want to say "Yeah, no s#ht dude, I was dying!"
Then he informs me of "layoffs". I am offically unemployed. Just. Like That.

Not even a cheap little Christmas present.
So here I am, a house, a husband, 8 (furry) children, a HUGE mound of bills....and no job....

Oh dear..... the American dream .......crap.

So, friends.....it's time for me to re-invent myself again. It's not ALL bad. This is how God must deal with me, give me a little push to get me to move in the next direction...

more to come................

Fallen Heros....

To be fair, I wouldn't REALLY classify the people I am about to mention as HEROS, per say. But it was shorter than writing " people I have liked, enjoyed and/or admired who have REALLY dissapointed me"....... See? That is kinda wordy, don't ya think?

First one, this is from about a year ago, but it still bothers me. When the news hit about the hideous things Michael Vick did to his poor dogs in the name of the "sport" of dogfighting, somehow the topic came up on "The View". Now, I will be honest, I have NEVER watched that show, just not my cup 'o tea, so to speak. But I did see the footage of this exchange.
I could not believe Whoopi Goldberg DEFENDED that slimeball by saying it was a "cultural difference". REALLY? Torturing, drowning, electrocuting and killing innocent animals is a cultural difference? Ooohhkkayyy.
So, I am pretty sure there were lots of people that thought SLAVERY was a "cultural difference", what would Whoopi say to that?
I can't say I was a die-hard Whoopi fan before, but I liked her, enjoyed her work, LOVED her in "the Color Purple". I was really disappointed such a normally intelligent, forward-thinking person could be so ignorant in her views on such a basic topic as animal cruelty. It just made me sad.

Person #2 - Prince. I went through a time of being a HUGE Prince fan! I loved his music, he is a largely self-taught musical prodigy who can play multiple instraments. Not to mention sing, write music AND lyrics. He was unique! He pushed the musical envelope! He could be fabulouly controversial and yet commercially successful. Plus, I thought he was REALLY cute!
Now, all good, extremely famous, musical genius people seem to lose their marbles somewhere along the road. I accept that. And I hadn't enjoyed Prince's last couple release nearly as much. They were okay, but it seemed he lost his edge, his ability to be ahead of the musical pack.
But, imagine my surprise when PRINCE, king of Controversy, Mr. Super-sexy-androginous man, the pusher of every last sexual/musical envelope, announced that he was AGAINST gay marriage!.....WHAT!?!?!?! SERIOUSLY!?!?!?! Are we being punked here? This is PRINCE for crying out loud! He built his career on a largely gay fan base. HOW could he say such a thing?
And not only did he NOT support gay equal rights, but he stated the Bible says it's wrong.....!
Yeah! PRINCE is suddenly concerned with what the Bible says is wrong! Oh come on now!
(For the record, I don't agree with what many people interpret the Bible supposedly saying about Homosexuality. That is for another blog, but if you want to know the TRUTH, check out www.unidiversal.com ).

Anyway, I was quite surprised and dissapointed by Prince. Sigh...another one bites the dust. (sorry Freddy).

But the one that hurt me the most is a musician I bet most of you never heard of.
I was a fan of many Christian rock bands in the 80's. All the greats of my day. Petra, White Heart, Stryper, Steve Taylor, Amy Grant, Leslie Philips, DeGarmo & Key, Russ Taff, Barren Cross, the list is endless!!! But, my one true love of that day was a solo artist by the name of David Meece. Oh, how I LOVED that man! I had my bedroom wall COVERED with pictures of David Meece! I had ALL of his records (yes, boys & girls, actual records,,,I'm old ok?), I went to every concert I could get my poor mother to drive me to! I stalked...uh..I mean...waited for him after the show to get his picture...and drool, drool, drool! I thought he was THE hottie to end all hotties! Plus, he was/is a tremendously talented musician. A classically trained pianist. I was obsessed, as only a teenage girl can be.
My obsession faded with time, but listening to his music brought back fond memories. Ah, youth!

So, this past August (2008) I finally enter the computer age. I get an email addrress! (ok..I'm a little slow with technology...stop laughing!). I get myspace! Facebook! My own lovely little blog that you are reading now.
I reconnect with many friends from the past, and make wonderful new ones! FUN!
One day, I decide to do a search for David Meece on Myspace, and low and behold, THERE HE WAS! Okay, he kinda looked...old...but hey! Who doesn't? Of course, I sent him a friend request.
about a week later, he accepts! Hooray! My old flame, on my page! I put him in my top friends, right in between Harvey Firestein and RuPaul! I was so proud!!
(For the record, I interviewed Harvey Firestein in 1995, and I briefly spoke to RuPaul at the Vortex in Chicago right before "Supermodel" hit mainstream, back in my radio days). :)

So, the election comes, and I am THRILLED that Barak Obama won!! I make new, proud, joyous posts everyday! I call myself Obamalicious....and I am you know!
Then, I notice, David Meece is missing from his place of honor on my page! Hmmm, must have been an accident, I think. I check his page. He added a new song. Something about Dancing with the Enemy. Then, I look through his friend list. Ewww! Sarah Palin? GROSS! Hate that girl!!
Oh, well, there's no accounting for taste.
So I sent him another friend request. I wait. Couple weeks. He accepts again! Hooray, I knew it was a mistake!
Ray Boltz, another Christian singer from the 80's comes out as a proud gay Christian man. Way to go Ray! He releases a pro-gay marriage song "Don't Tell Me Who to Love" (GREAT song by the way!) I make it my #1 profile song.
Shortly after, David Meece disappears AGAIN!!!.....Hmmmmm......this is suspicious......

So I try to send him ANOTHER request... and that worthless little snot BLOCKED ME AS A USER!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
You mean I supported him all through the 80's, bought his music, screamed at his shows, to be dissed and blocked because we don't agree on politics?!?!!? OH COME ON NOW!!!!!!!

At first I was strangely hurt, now I'm just mad. And dissapointed that my High School crush turned out to be a narrow-minded, homophobic bigot.
I think THAT is what bothers me most of all. How could I have supported some one so close-minded? Blinded by his dark eyes and beautiful music I guess.

So there you have it. Fallen heros....famous people I don't really know that have let me down.

Okay, Obama....you're my last hope!

Gay Marriage........

December 10th, 2008 is "A Day Without Gays" day. http://www.jointheimpact.com/ came up with the idea of calling in GAY to work, and then spending the day volunteering, marching, protesting (peacefully, I hope) to show support for gay marriage.
As you may know, Proposition 8 passed in California, outlawing gay marriage. There has been a HUGE uproar in the GLBT and P-FLAG community ever since.
I also heard of a great idea for those of us who WANT to support this worthy cause, but realistically cannot take off work. Because, seriously, with the economy being what it is, people NEED their jobs, and let me tell ya, there are MANY places in this country where you would get fired (or WORSE) for calling in gay. Not good.
Even then, some people just plain need the money and cannot afford to give up a vacation/sick day.
Wear a white knot to work. White representing what people traditionally wear to get married, and tying the knot, ect. I believe this was first posted on http://www.whiteknot.org/ . When people ask what the white knot is for, you can tell them about prop 8 and gay marriage, gay rights/human rights and so on.
Beyond that, WHY do people so oppose gay people getting married? I fail to see how someone else's marriage, ANYONE else's marriage affects my own. Believe me, straight people have been screwing up marriage for a LONG TIME now. Lets give someone else a shot!
It just seems so arcaic to me. It's like looking back at when interracial relationships were illegal. We remember that and wonder how people could have been so blind, so foolish!
I hope someday, we will look back and wonder how on earth anyone thought opposing the union of two loving grown adults was considered acceptable. Be that 2 men, 2 women or one man and one woman.
Truthfully, I have seen as many (maybe more) examples or true committed love being demonstated by same-sex couples as hetro-couples. You can find positive and negative examples of ANYTHING! Why not give the gay couples the same basic rights as everyone else?
What does it hurt? How does it change ANYTHING that does or does not happen in my own life and home?
I just don't get it.
Hey! I've got an idea!!!! If we want to oppose something, lets oppose the union of STUPID people! Now THAT could do all of us some good............

RADIO DAZE..............

Grown-ups LOVE to ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. For awhile I think I answered "dancer".
But, oooops! I am NOT graceful. Hmmmmm...what next?
Then I started answering "artist". I loved to color!
Oooooops again! Turns out there isn't a big market for crayola art. And I never progressed much beyond the stick figures in the drawing department.
Lets see, what else? Animals! I loved animals!
Even though that has always been part of my life (mom rescued animals ALL the time!), the pay for an animal activist is strangely lacking.
NEXT!!!!
Finally, I came upon an idea that just might work.....MUSIC!!!! Of course! I listen to music all the time! Even had my very own orange plastic record-player. Played mom's old 45's everyday.
(Yes, I did just say record player and 45's.....and I'm not talkin' SPF here).
However, I can't sing. Trust me, it's frightful! I liked the IDEA of playing an instrament. But actually PRACTICING.........not so much.
Then, I discovered RADIO!! You mean I could talk (LOVE to do that!), and listen to music all day.....and get PAID for it??? YAHOO!!!!!!
That described my entire career as a teenage! Talking and playing music! YES! This radio thing was the answer!

I actually started when I was about 14 (1984...the year...not the George Orwell book). How I got my headphones on over all that 80's teased-out-aquanet-schelacked hair I will never know!

Mom drove me to work (not old enough to do it myself). I started "interning" which was great because back then radio interns actually LEARNED stuff as opposed to getting coffee and doing stupid stunts for the Morning Guys like they do now.

PLUS, you had to be liscensed by the FCC back then to run the equiptment. I was so proud when I finally got that thing! Better than a diploma!!
As soon as I graduated High School, I got a full-time (paying) radio gig. LOVED EVERY MINUTE!
Lots of crazy stuff, met many amazing people, worked a wide variety of formats. Too much stuff to tell you about right now! But it was great (overall), never regreted those years!

I left radio in May of 1999 (another VERY long story...will blog on that later). You have know idea how bummed I was that I wasn't going to be able to play Prince's "1999" on the air that New Years Eve! (It's a radio thing....trust me).

Radio is so different now. In a way I think I got out just in time. Satellite and internet radio was on the rise. The FCC was deregulating left and right, so a few huge companies owned ALL of the stations. More "recorded" programming. Less freedom to experiment, have fun, actually DISCOVER new music.
And trust me, even though "payola" is illegal.....it happened ALL THE TIME!!!! Thus, consultants controled EVERYTHING we said and ALL the music we played.
By the way....consultants were stupid AND very corrupt....not a good combo.

But it was an incredible experience! And lots of fun! Tell you all more about that world some other time..........

Blast to the Past......

I was born in the wagon of a traveling show...OH wait! That's a Cher song, my bad!

Actually I was born in an evil, godforsaken place called Wabash, Indiana. Yeah, yeah, Crystal Gail was born there too. Fine.. so a grand total of 2 good things came from that place.

My mom fled to Wabash when she was pregnant in 1969. I was made during the "Summer of Love"...typical for me! My mom never wanted children. She was a free spirit. She worked very hard, was born into a looonnngg line of farmers.
But, she wanted more! She LOVED music, wanted to dance, sign, play piano. She longed to travel. No strings attached, just fun!
Then she met..."him".....my sperm donor. Tall, dark, kinda dangerous. VERY smooth. Said ALL the right things! Took her out! Told she was beautiful!!! (She really was! She looked like some kind of Petula Clark/Connie Francis beauty in her Senior picture. I'll share it sometime!)

But, ooops! He kinda forgot to mention he was married....that's not a PROBLEM...is it???

She wasn't happy, told that boy to take a hike. Mom and I always had a weakness for the "bad boys"! Oh well, no problem! Live and learn.....until....oh crap.....she was pregnant.

Sperm donor was already married, with 3 lovely children. Perfect little life. Good job at the bank. Great money.
"Yes, this poor, uneducated farm girl must be mistaken. I couldn't posibly be the father of her child! I mean....who IS she.....? No one of importance, of course."

Trust me, had abortion been an option at that time, you would not be reading these words right now....at least not written by me.

She was devestated! She had no money! She was a clerk at a small drug store. Her family were nothing but "uneducated" farmers. They already thought she was the wild child. A lost cause!

But, her family loved her, wanted to help. Gave her all the support they could. But, she was worried about what people would say, since being an "un-wed mother" was still a big, bad thing in a small rural town.Thus, she fled that place she (and all of my family) was born in to hide out in ........Wabash. I hate that place.

She got a job, made up a story about being divorced (thinking that would help). We lived with my mom's older sister and my VERY COOL uncle. They moved there a couple years before that for work. My family was "nothing" socially. My sperm donor's family was "everything". Big shot at a local bank. No way anyone would believe her in her hometown...so she went into hiding.

Even though she did not want children ( a statement I heard MANY times) she did her best. Mom was born with what I now think would be called "bipolar disorder" or perhaps it was just depression, she had a rough time mentally and emotionally somedays. Back then they called it being.........moody and artistic.

She was not perfect, but I do know that she loved me. She lived the rest of her life (whitch ended in September 1998) trying to make up for the "sins of her past".
She never married. Had some "crushes" but did not date. She was trying to attone for her "sins". I being the (very) obvious result.

Oh, but Wabatuckey (Wabash) was NOT a welcoming place. We were kicked out of MANY churches. Sometimes, because she told the she was "divorced". They didn't want a divoced woman in their church. Heaven forbid, when she actually DID tell them the TRUTH, they would scoot us out the door before the first Hymn was finished! Turns out many of those churches didn't want "sinners" in their congegations. Go Figure.
Some people called her a Lesbian (because we had to live with her sister/my aunt). Some people called her a Whore.

EVERYONE (okay, not everyone, but lots of people) called me a worthless bastard. How I hate that word. The "kind" people called me an "Illigitamate Child". What the FUCK does that mean anyway?
Did I miss that? Was I not human?
Crap. All this time I thogut I had flesh, bones, a soul........feelings. Silly me.

I remember so clearly in first grade. West Ward Elementary School. Somewhere around 1976.
First grade teacher, Ms. Wulser. I. Hate. That.Woman.

We had to draw a family picture. ALL of our family. Up to this point, I had asked exactally one question about my sperm donor. Did I have one. Mom said yes. But he has another family. I said. Okay. Went back to watching "Sanford and Son", or "The Electric Company", maybe "The Jeffersons", not sure.

Anyway. In my picture was me (duh), my Mom, both of her sisters (my Aunts), my Uncle in the sky with wings (he died in 1974) and my cat. Good picture for a six year old!

Ms.Wulser held each picture up. Asked questions about it. Then she came to me.

"Is this your Daddy in the sky?" "No, that's Uncle Chucky". "You need to put your daddy in the picture" "I don't have one" (thinking to myself...LORD! This woman is stupid! Didin't she get the memo?) "EVERYONE has a Daddy Susan. You HAVE TO draw him. Even if you don't live in the same house". "But, I..DON't HAVE A DAD"! Thinking, cripes, and this stupid woman is my teacher?? Oy vey!

I had to stay in for recess until I put this person that didn't exist in my picture. I would not do it. I could draw Bugs Bunny, Snoopy, even Woody Woodpecker. THEY were real. This "Dad" people spoke of.....not so much.

After that point on, I was THE target. That is the nature of grade school. Find a weak spot...and JUMP on it. It didn't help that I was a shy, chubby kid either. Some people thought we were the biggest freaks in town. We finally left in 1983 ( I was 13). A new start!

Thus ends part one........

Okay...I'm new here....

So, I am currently rocketing towards 40, and I have (FINALLY) entered the computer age!
My dear friend Seth, out of the kindness of his heart, just gave my my FIRST computer. Okay, it's really a hand-me-down, but beggars can't be choosers!

And, yes, it is nearing the end of 2008, and this IS the first time IN MY LIFE I have owned a computer. Sad, I know!

I'm not yet sure what this will turn into, but I am hoping it will be another "positive" outlet for all the bizarre ideas, thoughts, fears that enter my crazy mind.

I suffer from clinical drepression (yeah, I know, who DOESN'T these days?), so hard telling what you might read here, depends on the day.

I can tell you this much, I love animals (ALL of them, even the "ugly-cute" ones). People that abuse, neglect, torture, or mistreat animals are the lowest form of "life" there is. And if you are in any way involved with/watch/support-by-lack-of-action the worthless "sport" of dogfighting.....I hope you die a long, slow, violently painful death..........that way you can know a FRACTION of the torment you but these animals through!!!!

I don't USUALLY get into politics, ( I am eqaul opportunity when it comes to politicians....I don't trust ANY of them!), but this past year was a bit different.
I am so happy and proud that Barak Obama is set to be our next president!! It is about time we had something other than "white", male" and often "old" in the White House!!
That being said, I know he is human. He WILL make mistakes, he WILL fail in some things, and he WON'T be perfect.
But......it was time for a MAJOR change. We needed to switch it up. This is the first time I have ever REALLY followed an election, or even CARED what the outcome would be!
YES WE CAN, baby! Seriously, even if you don't like Pres-Elect Obama, you gotta admit that he is an INCREDIBLE speaker!! The man could read the ingredient list on a cake mix out loud and tears would well in my eyes as I said "Amen, brother, preach it!"

And if I hear ANYONE else say something about himbeing a Muslim, I swear I will punch them!
And so what if he WAS a Muslim....SO FREAKING WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What on earth is wrong with that? Does it say somewhere in the constitution that our President HAS TO BE a CHRISTIAN???? Don't think so!
I hope someday we DO have a Muslim President! And a Jewish one! Maybe Hindu, Buddist whatever-other-religion-I- can't- remember President!
While we are at it, maybe a female or Latino President!
And dare I say it..... I hope someday (in my lifetime would be AWESOME) we have an (openly) Gay President!! All of those groups (and more) are members of our United States, shouldn't THEY be represented too??
Isn't this country suppose to be a melting pot??? Then lets start melting baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew.....blogging is fun!

I am also a lover of many kinds of music, NOT into country much. I worked in radio as an on-air personality for 15 years. THAT is a whole 'nother blog...................!!!

Okay, I guess this is good for an "intro" to my life as a blogger.

In case you haven't noticed, I firmly believe in Diversity. I have friends from many religions, ethnic/racial backgrounds, sexual orientations/gender identities and so on.
I will admit I have some VERY srtong opinions, and I am EXTREMELY Stubborn. (Just ask my poor husband....God bless him!). But I truly think we need to have eqaulity for the races, for GLBT peoples, for all religions, for people with disabilities ( again, friends with MANY people in that catagory), and for animals. (How I would LOVE a medi-care type thing for the furry babies!).
I have always been an odd mix of personality traits. Shy but talkative, open-minded and yet "closed-minded" to STUPID PEOPLE, friendly but afraid to trust.
Over-all I am too normal for the strange people and too strange for the noraml people.
I fit in everywhere and no where at the same time!! (Good at a party....not so fun the rest of the time)......Is it possible to be BOTH conservative AND Liberal???? Does that make me...a...Librative.......? WHO KNOWS!

Peace people, and if you don't love animals, just go away now. You're NOT gonna like me!