I AM SO SICK OF BEING IN THE MIDDLE!!!!

I'm TOO nice, I'm TOO angry, I'm TOO Liberal, I'm TOO conservative. I'm ALWAYS TOO....SOMETHING!!!
WHEN can it be okay to just be......me?
You know the downside of trying to celebrate diversity?
The diverse friends you collect.....HATE EACH OTHER!!!!!!!
I can't win. EVER! No matter WHAT I do, SOMEONE thinks I am a total MORON!!!!
In a way, I really don't care.
In another way....I ALWAYS care.
No matter HOW hard I work or HOW hard I try, everyday, I WILL piss SOMEBODY off!
Yeah, I know. I'm almost 40. Shouldn't I have figured that out a LONG time ago???
Yet, my very NATURE allows me to relate to a WIDE variety of people. This is what I was MADE to do. To RELATE. To CONSOLE. To LOVE. To show COMPASSION. To celebrate DIVERSITY. To ACCEPT.
I WANT to do this. I was BORN to do this.
My mental illness gets in the way.
No matter WHO I reach out to or what "fringe" group they belong to, something I do, some basic part of who I am.....is "wrong".
The Transgender girl/boy in the band I manage is giving me FITS!!
I worked my ASS off for her/him!! Okay, I did it for the mixed/lesbian I have known since she was a child who is ALSO in the band. I feel very MOTHERLY towards her.
But still. If I can accept the drug addaled, pyscho, transgender girl/boy for who s/he is, WHY can't s/he accept ME for who I am?
Why is it ME who always has to change? Why am I laways the one who is.....wrong?
Fine. I known these people NEED someone. They NEED to be shown LOVE, ACCEPTANCE,TOLERANCE.
They've been screwed over ROYALLY in their lives.
SOMEONE needs to show them some LOVE and COMPASSION.
It's the same old story of my life.
I'm TOO normal for the FREAKS, and TOO freaky for the NORMAL people. I fit in everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
I'm so tired of it.
When can it be okay to love Industrial Metal Music and Pedicure parties?
When can it be okay to be a Christian and a straight GLBT Activist?
When can it be okay to love animals, be a Vegetarian, and still think PETA does some weird crap sometimes?
When can it be okay to be supportive of "alternative" (HATE that phrase!!!) "lifestyles" and yet be ridiculed for my mostly "convential" one?
When can it be okay to be......me?
To be Susan.
To have Purple streaks in my hair and to love Jesus?
To enjoy Industrial Music and to want to be home to fix my sweet, hardworking hubby dinner?
To absolutely ADORE my GLBT friends and still hope to NOT be considered a "freak" by many of the "Christians" I know?
To be proud of my GLBT Church and to be friends of Atheists?
To not really be "into" porn and think it is awesomely HILARIOURS to find out a friend is putting a "GLory Hole" in his closet?
To be an overweight Vegetarian?
To want to paint my nails Green and to think that being unable to express oneself WITHOUT using the "F-word" shows lack of creativity.
To Adore Carrie Underwood and to HATE Country "Music"?
To LOVE "Pysch" On USA& think that reality TV (American Idol included) is worthless, pointless drivel.
When, when WHEN will it be okay to be.........Susan?
To be Different/the same? To be Liberal/Conservative? To be Open Minded/yet VERY Opinionated?
To be a little bit Rock-N-Roll and a Little bit Techno?
To sometimes feel like a NUT, sometimes don't?
To be someone OTHER than Jan Brady?
When will it finally be okay to be poor, pathetic, mixed up me?

Because I am QUITE sure the being SUSAN is the ONLY person I REALLY know how to be!